MUHAMMAD HAIKAL BIN ROSLAN
12:25 AM - Wednesday, March 25, 2009
its really heart breaking when you get to know that one of the precious or loved ones are gone. it really makes my migraine go from bad to worst trying to think about what had just happened. for once, i really appreciate my life very much. we shouldn't take small things for granted. true?
i know everybody in this world has his/hers own mistake. but still after all this things that had happened, i feel that we should not be rough with the people around us. even though if we take it as a joke, we wont know how the person feels when we disturb them or what-so-ever. things happened for a reason.
for me, if you wanna joke around, its okay but to a certain limit. do not go overboard until one day you will regret it. seriously. well, i guess that's the new me. life is so damn short. you will never know if you will wake up the next day. so better repent before its too late. I'm starting to feel a change in me. i don't know why.
is it because a lost of a very best friend? or it is just that feeling that makes you think that its time to change for the better? seriously, even i don't know why.
anyway, today was the third day since you left us. i attended your funeral's praying ceremony. while praying, in my head, i still could not believe that you really left us for good. it just feels like yesterday when i first met you and we became a hell of a friend. i controlled my tears back when i was praying for you my friend. i really do.
your family asked me to come on Sunday for another funeral's praying ceremony. i will just have to get back early from work. i will try my very best to make it on time. i promise.
after the ceremony has ended just now, we went downstairs and slacked till 11:30 or so. took bus home. about 12:15 midnight nazrul called. saying that they are going riding. even though i followed them, there is this strange feeling. feels like something missing. but i just go with the crowd.
we went to eat at jalan kayu. after that, we proceed to yishun dam. about 4 plus we headed back home. and now I'm here and time checked, 6:27 in the morning. damn. must get some sleep.
the absence of your presence is making me feel so damn different.
we still miss you. =)
be strong up there aite.
MY BESTEST FRIEND THAT I EVER HAD!
1:51 PM - Monday, March 23, 2009
MUHAMMAD HAIKAL BIN ROSLAN
2ND NOVEMBER 1990 - 23RD MARCH 2009
(1990 - 2009)
this post is just for you, Haikal.
i still could not accept the fact that you had left us for good. i just received your message around 3 plus in the evening saying that you did not get for me a watch but you bought for me an ECKO pencil box. i actually wanted to surprise you with a gift that you asked from me. was planning to call you around 6 plus in the evening but i was busy working.
and i was fucking shock when i got the news from feeza and zaleha saying that you were gone. at first i didn't believe that and thought that they were playing tricks on me. so i called your phone and your dad pick it up. he told me in a very calm manner saying that you had just passed away. then he burst into tears. on that very moment, i was completely shock and traumatize. my hands were trembling like fuck.
your dad told me to spread the news to the rest. and i did what he says. i tried calling the rest and at first they thought that i was joking about it. but i told them it was the truth. then i rushed off from work early just to go to your place. most of my homies were already there. i just had to see you for the last time. i just could not face the reality that you are gone for good.
the moment i reached your void deck, gal looked at me in a furious/piercing manner. she then burst in tears telling me that you said to her that i left you and had forgotten about you. Haikal, i have not forgotten about you at all my beloved friend. i even planned to meet you tonight to pass you your gift that you wanted. i did not leave you at all. you left me. you left me just like that.
i just could not believe that you are gone. you are the bestest friend i ever had. you know all my secrets and i know yours. we share everything together. we are very close. do you remember our first club together? then your mom called asking for you? haha. and you put your things in my house and we were super excited for that day?
and do you remember the days when we fought because of some conflicts and be best friends again? the day we ton together and study for our upcoming 'O' levels? those days that i ton at your house? the days we went for ghost hunting at bike trail and many more? the day you asked me for my help to get a prepaid card and i got to choose the number for you? all the outings that we had? remember the stupid stuffs we used to do? i do remember. EVERYTHING SINGLE THING.
i was glad to hear that you had got your wish to go to poly. your wish came true my friend. but things can change right? i learned that life is not as beautiful as it seems to be. you will never know when you are going to go, true? you will never know when will your day come. to be honest with you guys, im trying really hard to hold my tears back. i really do.
after all the hardships that we had gone through, we got even closer. i may be the last one to contact with you that evening, but you will always be the first in my heart forever.
once again, i apologize and hoping that you will forgive me. i know we always disturb you. but i know that you don't take it to hard. once again, sorry.
ALL of it will always be in my memories till the day i die. i swear. no one can ever replace you buddy. im really glad that i had found a best friend like you.
may you rest in peace. amin. goodbye.
